Traditional Pronunciation

I'm heavily entrenched in an embarrassing tradition: mispronouncing street and town names to locals.

Chicago

It all started with the original move to Chicago. My former roommate and I were looking for places in the pouring-down rain when we stumbled into a hotel looking for Wabash Ave.

"Which way is Wah-bahsh?"
"Wah-bahsh? What? Oooh, Wah-bash! you guys aren't from around here are you?"

Little Rock

In Little Rock, Arkansas, one of the biggest roads you'll encounter is Cantrell Rd. It's not pronounced how certain Steve's might expect, either.

"So I just take Can-trell all the way to Rodney Par-ham?"
"First, it's Cantrll...and second, it's Rodney Parm"

Toronto

In Toronto, the road that divides the city into east and west is Yonge St. Naturally, this went just as well.

Yonge St., NYC by Loozrboy on flickr

"Are we at Yong-gey Street yet?"
"I don't think that's how you say it, Steven. I think it's just Yong."
... *later, while talking to someone who knows"
"So you'll want to take Eglinton all the way down to Young and turn right."


We get it right, eventually.

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note that's the only licensed picture I could find, and it was from a movie shoot where they were pretending Toronto was New York.

Small World

I've been lucky enough to spend 4+ months in some major cities over the past few years. During this time, I've had some déjà vu when meeting new people.

Let's review, in classic dialogue format.

Chicago

Me	...no, I'm actually from Detroit originally.
Person A	Hey! Me too. Go Blue!
Person B	Wow! Did you guys say you're from Detroit? So am I.
	6 more people join in as the conversation turns to Michigan vs Michigan State.

Los Angeles

Me	...no, I grew up near Detroit.
Teammate	Really? I'm from Huntington Woods!

Little Rock

Me	...no, I'm actually from Detroit originally.
Teammate	What! Do you know Eminem? Have you ever been to 8 Mile?

San Francisco

Barber	...and people think the tenderloin neighborhood is dangerous, but I'm from Detroit, so...
Me	Weird... Me too.

Let's Form a Hypothesis

11-08-09 by idovermani on Flickr

Certainly were I member of the scientist group pictured above, we'd be forming hypotheses about any of the following:

• Every US city is 90% Michigan-based
• Eminem has overtaken Henry Ford as the most famous Detroiter
• Detroit is the planet's toughest city
• Detroiters tell more people where they're from than persons of other cities

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Naturally, there is a photoset.

English to English Translations

Back when I was in Little Rock, there were a few mixups with the local language that I just didn't know how to process. Asking the questions landed us all on the same page. It's from this that I've created a table of English-to-English translations.

Phrase	Meaning
y'ort'a	you ought to
y'all	you or you all

Our current San Francisco team includes an Australian and an Englishman. The phrases they've brought to light for me in two weeks are top notch.

A rather incomplete list of things that mean this is bad

• This is a bit how's your father
• This is a bit pants
• This is a bit ass about face

Proposal

Finally, I'm throwing my own entry in the ring: cabbage. For my money, there's nothing more subtle in its badness than cabbage.

This is [a bit] cabbage.

The Cattle Auction

"Conway is 30 minutes from here" started a sentence nearly every day for three weeks straight. That's how Kyle Kyle opened our eyes to the home of UCA and what would, on one Tuesday, become a historic landmark for me, Ginger, Kyle Kyle, and one of his friends.

Growing up in the rust belt, one doesn't have much of an opportunity to witness a good old-fashioned auctioneer at work. I only know of the quickly spoken craft from the folks at Mecum, but all they auction is cars.

Perhaps that's why during the cold and rainy last Tuesday of my stay in Little Rock, we headed to the great cattle barn of Conway, AR.

I had hoped to see a few cowboy hats, and I was certainly not disappointed. Even the auctioneer fancied a Stetson.

But if that wasn't exciting enough, the highlight came from Kyle Kyle, as he exclaimed:

Man, I hope a velociraptor comes out of there next. I'd be like... 2000!

Which probably isn't the best of things to yell during a live auction. Fortunately, he wasn't out $2,000 by the end of the night.

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Fun Fact this is now a thing: "hey, remember that time we went to the cattle auction?"

Rebsamen Park Golf Course

Back in September when I touched down in Little Rock, one thing was instantly clear: This place has some golf to be played. I'd declare it a requirement for anyone coming in, or through, town; though I was disappointingly the only member of the team who took to the course with any regularity.

Within two weeks I had my clubs in hand as I took to the first tee of Rebsamen Park Golf Course. Of the 15 rounds I'd play over the next month, 13 were at Rebsamen. Just about every one would begin exactly the same way, with the nicest mid-60's starter you'd ever meet — Bill.

Bill had a voice that squeaked and just enough twang to make his name rhyme with "heel." Couple that with my shockingly flat Detroiter accent and we had a frequent routine that's still fresh in my mind, months after it became too dark to golf before or after work.

Me	How's it going today, Bill?
Bill	Oh...I'm hanging in there. Headed out there?
Me	Definitely. I'll walk the twilight rate, please.
	*I almost always forgot the scorecard*
Me	Whoops, almost forgot my scorecard.
Bill	Ohhh yah, you've got to write that stuff down, now.
Me	Have a good night.
Bill	Okay. You go give 'em hell, now.

View Larger Map

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Note It's virtually impossible to find the rates anywhere, but monthly passes were a phenomenally low $100.

Singular y'all

Lunch during the first week is often a troublesome proposition. It's all too easy to get stuck in one's consultant cocoon, never branching out or making new discoveries. I'm glad I didn't get stuck in that trap. Had I never ventured to ZAZA Fine Salad + Wood Oven Co with two client developers, I never would have been introduced to the singular form of "y'all."

Now I'm plenty familiar with y'all, not least because of frequent road trips through Florence, Kentucky; perhaps home of the best watertower ever?

The FLORENCE Y'ALL Water Tower by J. Stephen Conn on Flickr

Kyle Kyle	So what kind of music do y'all like?
Me	I think the team probably all likes different kinds of music.
Kyle Kyle	I know different people like different kinds of music. I'm asking what kind of music y'all like.
Me	Oh. Uh. What?

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DISCLAIMER In the interest of representing both sides of the story, Kyle Kyle claims to have never said the above and that y'all's singular form doesn't exist. That's not how the other two passengers remember it, however, and I now believe the elusive singular form of y'all to exist.

NOTE Our team consists of two Kyles. The project manager differentiated them early on by naming one "Kyle" and the other "Kyle Kyle"

Fun Fact ZAZA's has some tremendous gelato.

Pinnacle Mountain

I've never been much of an outdoors person. That changed with my recent infusion into the Little Rock hiking scene.

Together with my girlfriend, who could seemingly climb the north face of the Eiger without breaking a sweat, we've probably skipped our way to the top of the rocky trail half-a-dozen times. It's an understatement to say this trail is rocky.

At one point, Ginger even pulled off the heroic move of keeping this giant boulder from falling. And with a smile on her face!

Finally, after a little over an hour in the [heat, rain, fog], we made it to the summit. As I've dove deeper and deeper into programming and virtual problem-solving I've found various senses of accomplishment, but none really compete with finishing a challenging physical, well, challenge. It's completely worth the effort.

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NOTE If you're planning on a nice hike up the rocks, you could join one of the many who bring their dogs. Be prepared to carry your dog back down though. They apparently have a much easier time with up than down.

NOTE Need more pictures of Pinnacle Mountain? Check out the Flickr Group these were pulled from.

Project 2

Way back in September, I took a 1x2 plane that touched down in Little Rock. The flight itself was delightfully uneventful — those tiny planes get to skip the \heartfelt\ update from Jeff Smisek "and [his] 80,000 coworkers".

After landing, all 30 of us aboard the plane shuffled out of most-delightfully-sized airport I've seen, but not before I checked in to gate 11, of course — this airport isn't going to mayor itself!

I've come to expect personality, conversation, and, well, danger out of late-night airport cab runs. Little Rock's James, just entering his 53rd year, gleefully delivered on 2 of 3, albeit silently for far too long as I dug deeper and deeper into the details of my destination.

James	Where to?
Me	The DoubleTree
	*awkward pausation*
Me	...in Little Rock
	*no response or movement*
Me	...downtown
	*continued awkward pausation*
Me	...on Markham Street
James	MmmHmmm. I should hope so. Only one we got.

I could tell early this place was going to be memorable.

NOTE While sarcasm has recently gotten a font, it isn't available everywhere, hence \heartfelt\

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